Baxter was lying in his bed in the living room while I was making lunch in the kitchen. Our practically 2-year-old daughter Ellie brought a miniature tea cup over to Baxter and provided him a drink. She followed it up with a small plastic plate of ‘Os’—magnetic letters she’d removed from the fridge.
Baxter perked up at the possibility of food, but his head sunk back down when he realized this was a toddler tea party—therefore no real tea. While he hasn’t mastered the art of drinking imaginary drinks or pretending to eat inedible foods, he has mastered tolerating the toddler.
Today I’m sharing some suggestions for helping your canine and toddler live happily and safely together as well as an update on how Baxter is doing with our daughter as she turns 2.
I wrote a lot of different messages about how to prepare your canine for a baby during my pregnancy and early days with Ellie. then last year at Ellie’s first birthday I wrote about how she and Baxter were getting along.
At that point, Baxter would occasionally growl at her and exhibited some anxious signs like licking or yawning. We were also still working with Ellie on polite canine behaviour, like giving him space and being gentle.
Now, a year later, they both have come so far and they have such a special bond.
Baxter is very tolerant of Ellie, and I can’t remember the last time he growled. While Ellie isn’t always polite—some allowances are made for 2-year-olds—she cares about Baxter a lot and likes taking care of him.
How to help a toddler and canine get along
Here are some of the techniques we’ve used to create a positive and safe relationship for our toddler and dog.
1. involve your toddler in canine care
Toddlers are becoming much more capable and independent each day. They still need a lot of care and supervision, but they are able to participate in certain tasks related to your dog.
For Ellie, this implies helping to feed Baxter meals and treats, getting his collar and leash when we’re going outside and occasionally helping to hold the leash on walks.
Ellie and Bax started going for walks together when she was just a few weeks old, so this is a regular routine for all of us and is a highlight of our days.
It’s also essential to involve your canine in activities with your baby.
Baxter’s main hangout space and Ellie’s main play space are both the living room, so they spend a lot of time together every day, even if they’re not directly interacting. As Ellie has grown, her play has become much more active, but Baxter has had lots of time to get used to the noise, motion and toys. Now, he does not react when a toy comes his way or a miniature shopping cart is pushed across the room at top speed.
Bax has also gone to the park and lounged under the playground while we’ve played. He hangs out around the table during mealtimes—though we are very vigilant to make sure he doesn’t eat from the floor or the baby. and he’ll occasionally attend story time in Ellie’s room.
Know your dog’s comfort level and find the activities that suit him best.
2. separate your canine and your toddler when necessary
The flipside of giving dogs and toddlers opportunities to be together is that in some cases you need to separate them. Humans—no matter how old they are—and dogs each need their own time and their own space to feel safe and comfortable.
Most toddlers don’t have a terrific understanding of personal space, so it’s up to you to view your child’s behaviour and your dog’s attitude and step in if necessary.
Baxter is very good about removing himself if he needs a break. He will go to our bedroom where we have a second canine bed. If Baxter walks away, I discuss to Ellie that he’s sleepy and going to take a nap and try to get her interested in doing something else. As she’s grown, she’s become much more tolerant of Baxter disengaging.
Depending on your dog’s temperament, he may need some help or encouragement to walk away. (And make sure he always has the option to get away.) Pay attention and don’t hesitate to separate your canine and toddler yourself if needed.
While Baxter’s bed and food areas were out of bounds initially, we have unwinded some of those guidelines as Ellie has gotten older and Baxter has gotten much more comfortable.
Baxter is a very low energy dog, so he’s typically lying down in his bed. If Ellie wants to pet him, she doesn’t have much choice but to perch on the edge of his bed. I make sure petting sessions don’t last too long—the minuscule toddler attention span helps—and remind her to be gentle. We also make sure Ellie doesn’t crowd him when he’s eating or drinking.
On the flipside, we haven’t made any of Ellie’s spaces out of bounds. Baxter is welcome in her bedroom, on her playmat or beside her dinner chair. In fact, when we set up a new play area for her in the basement, Baxter wanted to be part of it, so we had to relocation a canine bed into the room so that he didn’t miss out.
I also make sure that Baxter gets attention throughout the day and some one-on-one time every day, with walks during Ellie’s afternoon nap and extra animals in the evening after she goes to bed.
3. never leave your canine and toddler together unsupervised
One of my preferred pieces of guidance from my baby prep series was pretend your canine is a swimming pool. never leave your baby or toddler unattended. As far as Baxter and Ellie have come with each other, I’m careful to view them and make sure they continue to get along.
I feel very fortunate that Baxter is such a calm dog. No matter how thrilled Ellie gets, his default position is lying down.
We’ve went to other pals who have much more energetic dogs. Ellie loves running and playing with the dogs, but it’s easy for both animal and toddler to get wound up. A toddler can get knocked over, a canine can jump or mouth. depending on your dog’s energy level, you may have to be much more vigilant in monitoring his interactions with your toddler.
Toddlers also don’t realize how obnoxious their behaviour can be. Ellie occasionally will say “beep” and try to push Baxter’s nose. because I’m typically paying attention, I’m able to react quickly, stop the game right away and discuss that we don’t beep animals’ noses.
However, I am very grateful that Baxter does not react when she beeps him… or tries to brush his hair, or put a necklace on him, or feed him imaginary food or…
The tolerance Baxter has developed for Ellie also extends to other children. They can pet him, play around him, be noisy and rambunctious, and he will not react.
I’ve learned that Baxter’s preference is to keep an eye on what’s going on—and particularly Ellie if other people are here—but he does not want to participate. Therefore, I make sure that he gets lots of breaks and will redirect anybody who is giving him too much attention.
Know your canine and view to make sure he is comfortable.
4. spread the love – teaching your toddler compassion for all animals
Living with a canine at home can make your child much more comfortable and compassionate to other people and animals.
The lessons Ellie has learned from Baxter have carried over and, I believe, made her a substantial animal lover.
She is confident around animals and will greet cows, sheep, goats, horses—as well as the chinchilla, ferret, cockatoo, skunk, sugar glider, lizard and snake we saw at a recent exotic animal show—all with gentle pets.
We live across from a horse farm, and we typically go going to across the road. She stands on the fence and says, “Horsey, come!” On the days where they do eventually come, she stands quiet and still, lets them smell her and gently strokes their noses.
Our barn cat, Ralph, is possibly Ellie’s preferred animal. From the start Ralph has been an exceptional babysitter. before Ellie could walk, she would sit on the driveway and Ralph would twine herself around the baby, much to Ellie’s delight. now Ellie loves to go to the barn to look for the “kitty.”
Ellie also understands that Ralph and Baxter need food and water and attention every day, and she’s learning patience and generosity as she takes care of them.
The relationship between a canine and child can be very challenging. but it can also be extremely rewarding. I am very pleased that Baxter has accepted Ellie and that Ellie has [turned out to be] such an animal lover. I hope that some of the suggestions I’ve shared may help other parents to create the same loving, caring family.
Do you have any guidance for helping toddlers and dogs to live conveniently together?
Let us know in the comments.
How to help a canine and toddler live safely and happily together
Many toddlers want to be involved in what you’re doing. take advantage of their interest and find ways to let them “help” take care of your dog—with suitable supervision, of course.
Be prepared to separate your canine and toddler if needed. have another bed or crate in another part of your house that your canine can access if he wants. discuss to your toddler that the canine is taking a break and distract her with a new activity.
Spend time with your canine one-on-one. toddlers can consume a lot of energy and time. try to save some energy andtime to make sure your canine gets enough attention.
Supervise your canine and toddler. No matter how well-behaved they are or how good their relationship is, don’t leave your canine and child alone together.
Introduce your toddler to other animals. Your toddler may not be a canine person… or she may love all animals. help her learn about a variety of animals and discover what makes them each special.
Julia Thomson writes for That Mutt about canine behavior and training, working dogs and life on her farm in Ontario, Canada. She has a sweet, laid-back boxer mix named Baxter. She is also a blogger at Home on 129 Acres where she writes about her adventures of country living and diy renovating.